Speaker
Description
"Coming out of the fog" is when an adoptee realizes and acknowledges the emotional and psychological impact of their adoption, which is caused by the separation from their birth mother. For some adoptees, they live their entire lives never emerging from the fog. Others gradually come out, like my sister. Then there are those like me who come out of the fog in an instant.
There I was, at 40, sitting on my bed, and it hit me like a freight train. In an instant, the wall my mind had created protecting me from my trauma came crashing down before my very eyes. What followed was a profound shift in my identity and a journey that I still find myself trying to figure out.
Within 3 months, I had located my birth family. I have been able to hug my mother. To see my genetics reflected in another person for the first time. To laugh and cry with my long-lost brother and sister. My understanding of the concept of trauma exploded. For my entire life, "trauma" was something that happened to soldiers in a war or victims of violent crime. Overnight, I realized that I suffered from a lifetime of C-PTSD, but more importantly, I began to realize everyone around me was a victim of trauma of their own.
I spent decades measuring my worth through other people's acceptance of me and always put my happiness in the hands of another. The trauma I have suffered is real, but only recently, thanks to the help of other adoptees I have met and close friends, have I begun to choose how my trauma affects me and how to begin to value myself through my own eyes and not someone else's love or acceptance. I think I am finally starting to heal.
In this session, I will share the practices and perspectives that have been most helpful to me in moving toward healing and self-acceptance. Attendees will also be invited to reflect on and discuss their own experiences of identity and belonging, with the aim of leaving with strategies and encouragement for navigating their own journeys.